Arising From Darkness
Tragic deaths, unspoken words, a failed relationship and mistreatment of my own mental health…..
I can never forget this summer of 2019; not only because of the emotional and physical deaths but the decision I made to leave behind everything, that I had built for myself and the community in Southern California. My life had changed over night and I made this decision in order to support someone who needed me the most.
My uncle had unexpectedly passed away in a tragic work accident that should have never happened. He was such a kind, humble and hardworking man who I shared a very close bond with. Once I had arrived to Northern California I couldn’t bare the thought of my aunt staying alone, once the funeral was over.
When an unexpected death occurs it is never easy to overcome. But for the first few weeks, the victim who experiences this pain of loss doesn’t feel so alone. Instead they are distracted with preparing the funeral arrangements and having an endless amount of guests coming in and out the front door to pay their respects. While bringing smiles, laughter, food and company.
However, the hardest part of a loss like this is a week after the funeral. When guests stop coming through the door, the daily phone calls end and the house remains quiet during all hours of the day… Life goes on for everyone else around, as it should but it doesn’t make it any easier for the victim who is still experiencing the pain of the unexpected death.
Which brings me back as to why I left so suddenly without giving a notice to anyone, except for my immediate family. I left my full time job as an Educator, I left my Master’s program and I left my social media platform and College workshops I was providing for the community in Orange County. To then solely focus my time on one person and to make sure my uncle does not die in vain, as my aunt and I continue working with Lawyers for the investigation case of his death.
I have remained focused on all this, but have also fallen into an emotional dark hole myself that has taken me time to come out of. I haven’t had the mental strength to keep going with my passions in the education field and empowering the Latinx community through my blogging, workshops, posts, networking and more.
I felt like a failure as a significant other, mentor, educator, blogger and graduate student.
However, my guardian angels that I received this summer, Florencio Hurtado Duarte (Uncle), Susan Smith (close friend/Life Mentor) and Pooh Bear (Childhood dog/best friend) were not going to let me GIVE UP on my life and I could feel their endless amount of blessings slowly falling upon me from heaven, one day at a time.
I have recently been employed at The Riverbank Unified School District, will be continuing on as a Graduate Student for Cal State University, Stanislaus for my teaching credential’s and Master’s Degree in Education. While I continue to live with my aunt in order to continue supporting her in anyway possible.
For those of you have continued to read on and understand my decision, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I had never felt such pain and loss in my life before. But I can also say that I have never felt stronger in my life other than right now.
I can’t wait to share more on my next blog.